Lost in a never ending forest

I don’t even know what to write anymore. I haven’t written in quite a while mostly out of despondence, perhaps a little laziness. I’ve gone from angry to crazy laughter to disbelief to depression and back again. I’ve started writing at least four entries and never finished because each dire circumstance gets drowned out by a new one every day it seems.

My thoughts have turned so dark, in fact, that I’m starting to think extreme, desperate, nihilistic thoughts. Like this one: 

I’m afraid we have reached a point where a Republican lawmaker will have to be shot before the mob of insurrectionists, of these white supremacist, domestic terrorists will be taken seriously or seen as what they are. Why they are not being treated as terrorists is a glaring pockmark on our county’s heart.

That’s how depressed and lost I’ve become.

Yes, many of the insurrectionists have been brought up on charges, but those charges aren’t significant enough. The worst part is, of course, that the lawmakers and the president are also seditionists and are simply letting their sheep take the fall. ‘Stop the Steal’? Elections have been stolen from minorities for the entirety of America’s history! To think it is otherwise is to pretend this country wasn’t built on the same corruption and slavery as the country who spawned us. No country is innocent.

Most Americans have become increasingly starry eyed—not disillusioned, we are the minority now—for some fake American dream, and delusional just like Trump. We’ve all become lost in a forest. Whether it’s a forest of tall tales—tales that say this country does not promote white supremacy, that we have an equal society, that white supremacy is right (why does anyone think any one group is arbitrarily better than another?!)—or a forest where the trees have branches of hope, every one just out of reach, we have all lost our way. 

The last time we were this lost was after 9/11. Think how happy those responsible for that terror are now.

May nerd-dom abound!

katrina pavlovich

Quote-of-the-day

…No two trees are the same to raven

no two branches are the same to wren.

If what a tree or branch

Does is lost on you,

Then you are surely lost. …

— David Wagner —

I realize the movie totally fails to communicate the overall loss as a nation in the aftermath of 9/11. It focuses on individual characters in a less abstract way from Jonathon Safran-Foer’s book. As a medium, film tends to tell stories that way. Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close—in book form—blasts us with details evoking pain necessary to acknowledge how lost both reader and character are. I love the poster picture though, and this young boys stark, beautiful eyes. I feel it attracts more attention than the book cover. I love the original book cover as well, but understanding its meaning requires first reading the book. We may try, but we do judge covers. A red hand with words stands out to a much smaller audience. This story—and its way of being told—needs a full house. So many people rely too much on the movie medium. Try both: they are different experiences, their differences will teach you many things.